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We live in a world that believes in lack. This manifests in multiple ways, one being that most people are egocentric! They won’t necessarily admit it openly, but you can observe this in people’s behavior. In order to navigate in a world that was clearly not designed to be HSP friendly, here are 5 rules to living a happy life the HSP way. Your happiness doesn’t have to depend on the world around you!

In many cases, there’s a significant gap between narrative and behavior, making things more confusing. This became increasingly clear to me when I was living in France. Whenever I confronted someone about their lack of coherence, they would just throw it back at me, blaming me for believing in their narrative. Apparently, it’s too much to ask of people to live with integrity?!

Rule #1: Always Give to Yourself First

People treat you according to how they perceive you. Because we live in a world that believes in lack, fear can easily be triggered. There are many sources of influences in Western societies today, and many of those sources emphasize lack and scarcity. The more fear people experience, the more they’ll think of themselves and turn their back on others. This includes turning their back on people who have helped them in the past, minimizing the value of their contribution.

Many highly sensitive people are caring and nurturing by nature; it comes naturally to us to help others. In addition, women are socially conditioned and expected to take on a loving, caring role. Alas, this conditioning can end up taking a toll on our health. If you’re pouring into everyone else in your life – who is pouring into you? We MUST learn to always give to ourselves first. If we pour into others, thinking we’re nurturing the relationship with them, but they don’t pour back into us, we’ll end up resentful.

Resentment is a risky thing because it can turn into a self-reinforcing loop. On an energetic level, we attract others who vibrate on the same frequency as we do. Dwelling on resentment (and other disempowering emotions) will only keep us stuck, since we’ll attract others who are also resentful. In this state, unconscious projections and blame games are common, draining your precious vital energy.

Long-term resentment can also cause physical pain and even autoimmune diseases later in life. I’ve seen this in clients who are aged over 60. Loving, caring people who have carried more than their fair share of the burden in some close relationships ended up with their bodies full of pain.

Rule #2: Your Body is Your Best Friend

We have erroneously been taught to think of our bodies as machines that should always be productive. But this is neither realistic nor sustainable. Your body is the temple of your Soul and should be treated as such! Working WITH the mechanisms that govern your body will give you much more inner peace and well-being overall than trying to go against your nature. An important part of this is to respect the rhythm of the different cycles.

You were given one body, and this one body has to last for your enti7re lifetime! Everything that you do on this physical plane happens through your body. There are also occasions where your physical body acts as a portal to connect with spiritual realms. Those of us who have been blessed with a well-developed intuition know this. Your physical body can function as an antenna that picks up subtle information.

I’ll share one of the most significant aha-moments for me going through the certification process to become an Emotion Code Practitioner. We were taught that the human body is the most sensitive detecting instrument in existence! Ponder on that for a moment.

 

Rule #3: Schedule Downtime in Your Calendar Regularly

Following the rule above, it’s important that periods of activity are followed by periods of downtime to complete the cycle. Downtime and alone time are essential for us highly sensitive people to recharge our energy. It’s during these periods that our experiences are integrated and our learning consolidated. Therefore, I suggest that you block out time in your calendar for downtime the same way that you schedule activities. Honor these appointments with yourself to the same degree that you honor appointments with other people.

Rule #4: Own That “No” is a Complete Sentence

Set boundaries to protect your peace. This creates space for yourself and the activities that are a priority for you. You don’t have to explain yourself or justify your choices to anyone. YOU are the master of your destiny!

Many highly sensitive people are tempted to help others in need because we feel the emotions of others in our own bodies. As noble as it may be to help others, we must check in with ourselves first so that we don’t sabotage our own life. Because if you constantly help others, you won’t have the time and energy to build yourself up. And I hate to say this, but it’s true: very few people cultivate gratitude. In other words, people who receive your help frequently will start taking you for granted and get upset with you if/when you stop providing help. You’d think they would be grateful for your help and go out of their way to help you back, when you’re the one in need. Nope.

A more sustainable approach is to start out with firm boundaries and let people in progressively, as they show you that they’re trustworthy and willing to reciprocate your efforts. This will prevent you from developing resentment (see Rule #1) and from getting yourself exhausted.

Rule #5: Nurture Your Spiritual Life and Express Your Creativity

Society pushes us to be constantly productive and to focus excessively on material things and success in the external world. While those things can be motivating for many people – including HSPs – sensitive Souls also need to nurture the spiritual side of life and express creativity. Not for the sake of productivity and profit nor to satisfy the expectations of others. Rather, we need to allow ourselves to nurture ourselves from the inside out, taking care of our inner garden, for the joy that it brings.

Joy is always present within each of us. Joy is the essence of living beings. However, contemporary Western societies do everything to distract ourselves from our essence. Our power lies in our essence, and only when we’re in a balanced state can we dwell in our essence.

As a matter of fact, dear fellow HSP, nurturing your spiritual life and expressing your creativity could be the most productive things you’ll ever do! It might not look like it at first glace – to a materialist it looks as though you’re wasting your time. In truth I’ll tell you: When you’re firmly anchored in your essence, NOTHING happening outside of you can destabilize you. You become a powerhouse! More importantly, your Soul will thrive and this inner light will shine through your body and into the world.